BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA II

Movie of the Week

Story

by

Charles Proser and Peter David

Screenplay

by

Charles Proser

Based on Characters Created by

David Z. Weinstein, Cary Goldman and W.D. Richter

EXT. SAUSALITO - CHINESE HERITAGE MUSEUM - NIGHT

INT. MUSEUM

In the middle of a marble floor a single display case topped by a crystal dome. DISTANT BUZZING, A SHAFT of light appears. Then a BURNING INCENSE STICK. The smoke wafts down.

TWISTING PULL OUT

The incense stick is upside down and being lowered into the room. As the smoke spreads, it reveals laser beams...that form a security barrier.

The incense stick is held by a muscular hand, followed by a powerful forearm sporting the tattoo of a Chinese Dragon.

Black hair, a black headband with red Chinese characters, dark eyes in a handsome, upside-down face; followed by the rest of BOBBY WANG...in red muscle shirt and black jeans.

He is tied upside-down with a red nylon rope. His powerful body moves like a contortionist to avoid the interlocking laser matrix as he's lowered toward the display case.

A thin tube slides down his arm. A liquid drops onto the glass and HISSES as it flows in rivulets down the side. Bobby takes a hammer, covers the crystal with a cloth and taps it gently. CRACK. Bobby carefully pries a piece away. He reaches in, plucks a JADE ARTIFACT from its pedestal.

CU - THE ARTIFACT

THE CHAI TAO...a piece of jade carved into part of a Chinese ideogram.

MATCH DISSOLVE

CU - COMPUTER

A 3D rendering of the JADE PIECE rotates. Text windows appear connecting it to historical references...T'ang Dynasty.

INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

STEVE Van Buren studies his computer. He's 29, smart and confident. He studies a hologram of the SAME JADE ARTIFACT. Using a voice-recognition computer, he tries to fit it and TWO OTHER SHAPES into a complete CHINESE PUZZLE; the CHAI TAO. He's also on the phone.

STEVE

...ROTATE LEFT 10.

Yeah Dad, I know what time it is but I thought you'd like to know. The piece we just put on display, I think I found out what it really is. Something even more interesting! Yeah! The CHAI TAO! Well, according to legend it was created by YAMA, the God of Hell. It's the key to unearthly power.

CU COMPUTER SCREEN

The 3D model, breaks into three pieces, two phantom pieces rendered in wire-frame, the museum's piece in full color.

STEVE

It disappeared...around 580 AD. Rumored to be separated into THREE PIECES, each piece held by certain moral humans for safety. No, it's not the complete Chai Tao, but it sure looks like one of the pieces!

ANGLE - SURVEILLANCE MONITOR - OVER SHOULDER

One security camera is picking up Bobby Wang, but Steve doesn't notice.

STEVE

TILT Z AXIS BACK TEN.

What? I don't know. Priceless!

ZOOM IN 20.

I found it in the Fung collection. Maybe old man Fung was a secret sorcerer. Well, of course not, but that's what they believe... What? Of course it'll be here in the morning, but it's so exciting I just thought you'd like to know. No? Really?

INT. GALLERY - BOBBY

He slowly slips the JADE from the case, puts it in his pocket but as he does, he dislodges the hammer. It drops from his pocket, hits the glass with a PING. The glass shatters and falls, cutting the laser beams. ALARM! Bobby screams a command into a throat mike.

BOBBY

Heur-La! Fi-dee! Heur-La! HEUR-LA!

(Go! Now! Go go go!)

Giou La! (Let's get out of here!)

INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S' OFFICE - SAME TIME

Steve's engrossed in the puzzle when ALARMS BLAST.

STEVE

What's that? It's nothing... Just the alarm.

(suddenly realizes)

Look, I gotta go! Bye Dad!

(slams down the phone.)

Damn!

He leaps up, runs out.

EXT. HERITAGE MUSEUM - ANOTHER FLAME LORD

YEE, an Asian-American kid in black jacket and headset pops the clutch of a Ninja Cycle, ROARS off.

ZOOM IN AND HOLD ON THE CYCLE

Tied to the back pommel is the red rope. As he rockets away, the taut rope whips by.

ON THE ROOF

A pulley in a tripod spins madly...as

INT. MUSEUM

BOBBY is rocketed straight up and out.

EXT. THE ROOF

Bobby FLIES into the arms of Flame Lords. They grab his gear, stuff it into packs. They tie the rope to the tripod, hook onto it and drop off the roof.

FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING

They powerslide down the rope and drop to the lawn, hitting with a rolling tumble that brings them up to their bikes. Yee leaps off the ninja cycle as Bobby vaults right into the seat.

WIDE ANGLE

The Lords take off. Still roped to the tripod, Bobby guns it.

EXT. ROOF

The tripod SNAPS FREE, LEAPS off the roof.

EXT. GROUND

The tripod hits and tumbles, dragged by the Cycle.

ANGLE BOBBY - TRAVELING

He roars by as GUARDS run out screaming into radios. The tripod tumbles across the lawn.

STEVE

runs out, sees the Flame Lords roar by. A ROAR. He turns.

STEVE'S POV

A ROARING CYCLE bears down on him. Bobby grins maniacally.

Steve DARTS left. The CYCLE darts LEFT.

STEVE darts RIGHT. The CYCLE leans RIGHT

STEVE feints LEFT, dives RIGHT, just as ...

The CYCLE ROARS BY... ripping his clothes as he rolls. Bobby rights the Ninja, laughing back at Steve.

Steve goes tumbling. He rolls and flips onto his feet, about to give chase when he notices the rope whipping at his feet. He turns. The tripod tumbles straight at him. He dives to the side, lands in a fountain. He comes up spewing water.

EXT. MUSEUM FRONT GATE

COP CARS pull up, SIRENS WAILING, LIGHTS FLASHING, blocking the exit.

THE CYCLE - TRAVELING

Bobby whips out a sword. With one swipe he parts the rope.

He rockets up the front hood of a cop car and launches over it, Cops tumble away. They hop back in just as...

THE TRIPOD

tumbles up and smashes into the cars, wedging them.

CU - FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING - OVER TITLES

Five young men and women of mixed ethnic types, mostly Asian-Americans in leather jackets with Red Dragons. They wear red head bands with Chinese characters. The cycles sport dragon pennants. They're neon streaks as they ROAR by.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - CHINATOWN

More cops join the chase and close in. The FLAME LORDS slam into LITTLE CHINA, swerve around blind corners, boots kicking sparks. They roar up a culvert. Cop cars appear at the top. Lords swerve, pull up, surrounded.

The Lords gun their choppers up a ramp into an alley which turns into a luge tube. They rocket down out of sight.

In a flash they are gone. In Little China they are invincible, protected by an invisible architecture of secret ramps, tunnels and bridges. Two cops run up, find them vanished, scratch their heads in disbelief.

TITLE MONTAGE

A mix of stills, animation and live action. Modern San Francisco is contrasted to the past. Modern Chinatown: Martial Arts and modern bustle is SUPERED over ancient images of China: shrines, architecture, scrolls of misty landscapes and mystic images... Ancient gods are intercut against characters from "Big Trouble". Classical Chinese music is heard in modern arrangements. A quick recap of action from "Big Trouble in Little China", for those who care, is transparent to those new to the genre.

END PROLOGUE

ACT ONE

EXT. STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - NEXT MORNING

Steve and CLARENCE JAMES, a bearish, black SFPD Detective, walk though Chinatown. Steve's upset. He's also stressed out and exasperated. Clarence grins and waves to merchants. He is known and liked in Little China despite the fact that he helps himself to the goods. He takes a fresh lichee nut from a fruit stand, nods to the grocer, pops it into his mouth.

STEVE

Listen, I already told this to the guys downtown.

CLARENCE

Indulge me. Tell me again. Try one of these, they're great. Thanks Lu!

LU

Have a nice day, Sergeant. Take some for the precinct.

He does. He stuffs them in his pocket.

STEVE

I haven't had any sleep!

The grocer offers another fruit.

LU

Insomnia?! Ah... Lo quats!

CLARENCE

Good for the blood. Thanks Lu.

STEVE

You believe that?

CLARENCE

Listen, kid. There are really two Chinatowns. Most people only know of one of them. The one you don't know is a mess 'a mystery. You know, wizards, demons...magic, that kind of stuff.

STEVE

You don't believe that.

CLARENCE

It's bull. But they believe. It affects how they behave.

STEVE

Like breaking into a museum, you mean?

CLARENCE

Yeah. Red and Black dragons, huh? That'd be Flame Lords. Any Blue and green cycles?

STEVE

No. Why? Who would that be?

CLARENCE

White Hearts, rival gang. You know about the Flame Lords?

STEVE

I've heard of them.

CLARENCE

They work for Chi Lung. A real charmer. Extortion, smuggling, white slavery... Nothing we can pin on him yet.

STEVE

And the White Hearts?

CLARENCE

Run by Egg Shen, another local character.

STEVE

Egg Shen? Isn't he some sort of martial arts master?

CLARENCE

Oh, he's got lots of interests ...tour bus company...a curio shop. He's also supposed to be involved in the occult.

Steve turns to him, curiously.

STEVE

The occult?

CLARENCE

It's Chinatown, pal. Some of our guys come outta there babbling about demons, magic potions and stuff.

STEVE

Really? Egg Shen...huh?

CLARENCE

This stuff may sound silly to us, but it's very real to them. It can bite you.

STEVE

It doesn't sound silly to me.

Clarence looks at him curiously.

CLARENCE

The older Chinese still believe in this magic. Chi Lung and the Flame Lords take advantage of that. Gives them power. There was big trouble here a few years ago. Some truck driver wandered in, got himself shanghaied by devils ... at least that's what he said. Some people claim it was magic. Personally, I think the boys got ahold of too much saki. But it raised a hell of a stink downtown.

STEVE

They kidnapped him?

CLARENCE

He was lucky to get out alive. Claimed they tried to kill him.

STEVE

You think they'd kill someone over these...ancient beliefs?

CLARENCE

Yeah. I think they will. Now why don't you just let us handle it.

STEVE

I have to get the jade back.

CLARENCE

Why? Who the hell are you, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon?

STEVE

I'm...I'm interested in this. I...I was born in Xi'an. I been studying this all my life. If this jade is what I think it is, your troubles are just beginning. Now can we get on with trying to find it?!

CLARENCE

Why's this jade thing so important? What's it worth?

STEVE

If it's what I think it is, it could open a window to the distant past...the earliest Chinese culture and beliefs.

CLARENCE

No. I mean in money. You know, ...street value...

STEVE

Well...uh...actually... kind of ...priceless.

CLARENCE

Insured?

STEVE

I..uh...I was getting around to that. Hey! There!

He points to the street corner.

EXT. GRANT STREET

In the crowd, Yee, the Flame Lord. He spots Steve, turns and takes off, slipping into the crowd.

STEVE

Flame Lord! One of the thieves!

Clarence looks up from helping himself to a Chinese pastry. He sees Steve bolt, turns, slams into a delivery boy. Chow Fun flies all over the street. They go down, tangled up.

CLARENCE

Wait! Hey, wait!

But Steve's off and running. Clarence struggles up but Steve's already gone, disappearing into the crowd.

STEVE - TRAVELING

Zipping in and out of the crowd, bumping tourists. He runs up a street stuffed lined with shops for herbal medicines, food, tourist goods.

Ahead, a glimpse. The Flame Lord's headband disappears around a corner.

STEVE

broken field running through the crowd, over trash cans, around barriers. He turns the corner and finds himself in...

EXT. KUNG ALLEY

...a QUIET, DESERTED SIDE STREET off the tourist track, lined with the dim windows of small shops. But the Flame Lord has disappeared.

STEVE'S POV

A Pacific Power truck is parked in front of a SMALL CURIO SHOP. A boom is extended and a worker is affixing a power line to the building. BRAD, a youth in a hard hat, sets out barricades, yells to his partner in the boom basket.

Steve notices the partner, a pretty Asian-American woman. KIM CHAN, 22, wears a t-shirt and jeans. She cannot hide her beauty under a hard hat and as she leans out of her basket to wrestle with the power lines, Steve is drawn to stare.

Brad's a body builder with a Gold's Gym T-shirt and a Forrest Gump/Fast Times at Ridgemont High demeanor. He has the hots for Kim but they're co-workers. There's an underlying sexual tension as he controls her basket height.

KIM

Down a little. Up a touch.. Down. There, that's good.

BRAD

It's great.

ANGLE KIM

She's very pretty, lithe and strong. She leans over her pod attaching wires, glances down at Brad grinning up at her.

KIM

Don't start with me, Brad. Try to be professional for once.

ANGLE BRAD

He glowers, mumbles to himself.

BRAD

What the hell am I supposed to do, work with my eyes closed?

STEVE

Excuse me. See a guy in a red headband come through here?

Steve's standing on a power cable. Brad moves him back.

BRAD

Excuse me, pal. Don't stand there, please. We've got hot stuff up there.

STEVE

Yeah, I see.

Kim leans over, straining her t-shirt. She's very sexy.

BRAD

The wires, I mean.

STEVE

Yeah, the wires.

Brad looks up at Kim impatiently.

BRAD

Think you'll get that tied off before the Year of the Weasel is over and the Year of the Banana Slug begins?

STEVE

Actually, it's the Year of the Pig.

BRAD

The Pig. Oh. Good.

KIM

Hey Brad, it's your year.

BRAD

Yah, funny.

(to Steve)

Well, it's gonna be the year of the fat lip if you don't get off my cable.

(he coils cable,

mumbling to himself)

I'm in the truck with her all day. It's driving me nuts.

(notices Steve's still

there)

Something I can do for you?

STEVE

A kid. About twenty. Red Headband. Black and red jacket. Flame Lord.

BRAD

I didn't see nothing. 'Specially no Flame Lord.

STEVE

How about an antique shop.

BRAD

This whole neighborhood is one big antique shop.

STEVE

I'm looking for Egg Shen's.

He shows Brad his map. Brad studies it, glances up.

BRAD

You're in luck, pal. You're here.

He points at the sign EGG SHEN ANTIQUITIES hidden by Kim's basket. Steve looks around. He senses eyes watching him. Then, a shout!

KIM

Hey! You gonna get those ties or what?

They look up at the impatient girl hanging over the basket.

BRAD

Keep your shirt on!

(sees her stiffen, hands

the map back)

Damn! I'm a diabetic in a candy shop!

Grumbling, he turns, slams open the truck doors, WHANG!

Kim glances down at Steve. Their eyes meet for an instant, then she turns back to her work.

Steve turns to the CURIO SHOP, stares in the window.

INT. EGG SHEN ANTIQUITES SHOP - STEVE'S POV

It's dark. Nooks and crannies are stuffed with Oriental curiosities. The window sports pieces of jade.

STEVE

(to himself; surprise, wonder)

Min din yuk...Burma jade...Ayee yaaa!

The shopkeeper, an old but tough Chinese, EGG SHEN, looks up from his antiquities and stares back. He comes to the front and looks out. Steve excitedly indicates the jade.

STEVE

Is that goo yuk, that sun shan yuk?

(antique jade, new jade)

EGG SHEN

Who are you, Bok gwei?

EXT. SHOP - STEVE

He's unsure. It seems that Egg Shen is looking past him toward KIM...up on the boom. He's polishing something.

STEVE

Ngor hai gai dook shu.

(I'm a student, an acolyte.

Ngor man nee see gow.

(I need your advice.)

I seek wisdom.

CU - EGG SHEN'S HANDS

He polishes a jade piece. It's similar to the museum piece, but not identical.

ANGLE - STEVE

Steve focuses in on it. He can't quite see. He's about to make a move toward the shop when he sees a reflection in the glass. He turns.

ACROSS THE STREET

Yee stares at him, tapping ninja-sticks in his palm... From other corners other Flame Lords appear. SFX - BOOMING CYCLE ENGINES. Flame Lord choppers turn a corner and ROAR up.

The Lords pull up, REVVING their choppers. One kicks over a barrier. It slams into Brad's truck with a LOUD BOOM! Brad rockets out of the truck holding his head and SCREAMING.

BRAD

Hey! What the hell!?

Bobby Wang just laughs at him. Brad stops dead in his tracks. Two other Flame Lords move up grinning and swinging ninja sticks. One says something demeaning in a Dialect. Others laugh, snicker, move to surround Brad. He backs away.

ANGLE - CURIO SHOP

Flame Lords run past. An ancient Chinese nimbly darts out of their way. But Steve doesn't move fast enough. A Lord slams into him, knocks him down.

KIM

looks down.

KIM'S POV

Brad is quickly surrounded, threatened.

THE STREET

Bobby and the Lords move at Brad, enjoying his growing fear.

While others move on Steve...

BOBBY

Goo Gee! La! Say Liang Jye!

(Be careful, jerk)

A FIGURE DROPS into the confrontation; KIM. The Lords jump back, see a pretty girl, move forward. Kim glares them down.

KIM

Bo Woo Ah! Jye...!

(Get ready, stupid)

What she says inflames the Lords. One moves on her. Brad grabs her, pulls her back.

BRAD

Kim, are you nuts? They're Flame Lords.

KIM

I don't care! They are scum...

KER DEY HAI GEU!!!

(They are pigs!)

She's angry, not intimidated. She snaps a kick that brushes the Lord's nose, snaps his head back. He stumbles back. Kim takes a stand. The Lords surround her, mumbling threats.

STEVE

Why don't you leave her alone?

They stop, turn. A single Anglo glares. Steve gets up.

BOBBY

Why would we do that?

STEVE

You're bothering her.

He turns on Steve...threatening. Moves up into his space, into his face, grins evilly.

BOBBY

It's our job. We're Flame Lords.

STEVE

I know who you are.

BOBBY

And I know who you are.

STEVE

Yeah, I think we have run into each other. Listen, I want to talk to you.

BOBBY

About what?

STEVE

The jade you stole from the Heritage Museum.

The Lords stiffen, look to Bobby Wang. Bobby moves forward.

BOBBY

Cop?

STEVE

Assistant Curator.

A beat... Bobby starts giggling.

BOBBY

Oh....worse. Very Scary.

The Lords snicker, then snap into a menacing stance.

Steve takes a defensive martial-arts stance. They stop and look at his moves. Then they laugh.

BOBBY

No, no, no. It's like this.

He snaps into a very serious stance; deadly, practiced, agressive. The other Flame Lords also click into exaggerated poses. They put on a demonstration of much better moves. Superfast fighting, flying, tumbling. Bobby finishes with a tumbling, whipping combo that catches Steve by surprise, sends him into a pile of garbage.

BOBBY

You should leave Little China, BOK GWEI! (white ghost/Anglo)

Steve jumps to his feet. Bobby moves toward him. they mix it up. Steve is surprisingly good. They exchange quick combos.

DA-LA, Saw Jye!

(Go ahead, fight, stupids!)

They turn.

KIM

is moving into an attack stance. Yee goes for her. In a quick, surprising combo, Kim flips, tumbles, kicks, punches and sends Yee through the window of CHEE FUN LAUNDRY. He stumbles out, covered in dry cleaning. Bobby laughs.

BOBBY

Nei gum lyang! You're beautiful!

KIM

Nei gum aie! You're short.

BOBBY

(he laughs delightedly)

You're angry.

(swings onto his chopper)

...I...like that. Get on.

KIM

Get lost.

He likes that, too. He's about to mess with her more when he HEARS SIRENS SCREAM UP!

BOBBY

Yeah, not a bad idea.

To create a diversion, Bobby breaks the Curio Shop window and sets off the ALARM! A quick, unexpected blow sends Steve into the garbage again. Bobby turns to Kim.

BOBBY

I'll see you again.

KIM

(sarcastic)

I'll lie awake nights.

He laughs, nods to the Flame Lords.

ANGLES -THE FLAME LORDS

smash windows up and down the street. Shopkeepers run out screaming, then see who it is and slip back inside.

EGG SHEN

rushes out of his shop.

EGG SHEN

Flame Lords!!!

(they hesitate)

Nei gall guy! You're off limits!

A beat...then Bobby steps up to him.

BOBBY

Hey, old man, what kind of gang would we be if we obeyed the rules?

EGG SHEN

Nei you jow! Leave. Now!

BOBBY

A demand, old man?

He makes a strange move, half-shadow boxing, half martial arts. A portentious gesture that means something to Bobby.

EGG SHEN

A strong suggestion.

BOBBY

I bow to your wisdom.

A nod. A Lord makes a sudden move. Egg glances around the deserted alley, then makes a furtive move: the shopkeeper claps his hands. A FLASH! The Flame Lord tumbles down the street, slams into other Lords, bringing them down in a heap. Egg makes another gesture, a MUMBLED INCANTATION. Suddenly, the Lords seem to be under some force, some type of mind control. They seem compelled. Bobby sees this, then hops on his cycle, gives Egg a mock salute, pops the clutch, SCREECHES away. Lords vanish into the woodwork.

ANGLE - KIM AND BRAD

Brad's awestruck at Kim's fighting skills.

BRAD

Geez, Kim! Where'd you learn to do that?

KIM

Women's support group.

She walks up to Steve, lying in the garbage, picking fish heads out of his hair. Kim stands over him, hands on hips.

KIM

Thanks for your help.

STEVE

Don't mention it.

KIM

But you shouldn't interfere. Not here.

STEVE

Sorry. Thought you were in trouble. Obviously, a mistake.

KIM

(she studies him)

The Flame Lords are dangerous. You better leave Little China.

STEVE

What about you?

KIM

I work here. Anyway...they'll leave me alone.

STEVE

Yeah, so I see. Hey...

He looks around. In the confusion, Egg has disappeared.

STEVE

The old man. Did you see that?

KIM

See what?

STEVE

Flame shot out of his hand.

KIM

You're crazy.

He sees Egg inside his shop, grabs Kim's arm, moves quickly.

INT. EGG'S ANTIQUITIES SHOP

Steve enters, bringing Kim, invading Egg's space.

STEVE

I saw it! Flame.

KIM

Static electricity.

STEVE

Knocked that guy all the way down the street?

KIM

What are you saying?

STEVE

I....I'm not sure.

She looks him up and down, then notices Egg. He's collecting jade pieces from the smashed display window. They approach. He looks up, notices their interest, hands Kim a jade piece.

EGG SHEN

Jade...magical. The only gemstone that changes color when you touch it. It reacts to body temperature, chemistry ...some say...to the person himself. Or herself.

He studies the jade. It's turned lighter in Kim's hand. Egg seems to see something.

EGG SHEN

It's not wise to stand against the Flame Lords.

KIM

I can take care of myself.

EGG SHEN

Yes, I observed. I am impressed.

Egg smiles at Kim, slips into the back of his store. Kim and Steve look at each other for an awkward moment.

KIM

You're lucky you're in one piece.

STEVE

Yeah, I'm feeling luckier...by the moment. (he moves in) You're from Guangdong.

KIM

I'm from Alameda.

STEVE

You're parents, then... southern Canton.

KIM

How can you tell?

STEVE

Your Cantonese...has a provincial dipthong. Que Ling?

KIM

You're close.

STEVE

Really!?

KIM

Yeah. They're from Oakland. Dad's a systems analyst at Rockedyne. I'm as American as Charlie Chan.

STEVE

But you speak Cantonese.

KIM

I yell it. That's about the extent of it...except for some curses on your ancestors.

SIRENS and LIGHTS up ahead. Cop cars SCREECH. Glass BREAKING, cars CRASHING! BRAD runs in.

BRAD

Come on, Kim. My contract specifically states I don't have to work during earthquakes, atomic attacks, or civil disturbances.

She glances curiously at Steve. So does Brad.

KIM

Well...Gotta go.

STEVE

Joy Geen. (goodbye)

KIM

Yeah. See ya around.

EXT. SHOP - THE TRUCK

Brad hops in, starts it up. Kim gets in the passenger seat. Steve follows, closes the door for her.

KIM

And you, bok gwey?

STEVE

I'm not a white ghost.

KIM

No, what are you then?

STEVE

A student. A ...collector.

KIM

Of what?

STEVE

Beautiful things.

A beat. A moment between them. Imperceptibly, she smiles.

BOBBY

Gotta go!

He lets out the clutch.

STEVE

Wait!

BRAD

Later!

Kim stares at Steve as Brad pulls away. A CLATTER. Steve turns as Egg pulls down metal shutters on the shop.

STEVE

Wait! I want to talk to you.

EGG SHEN

Can't talk now.

STEVE

Why not?

EGG SHEN

Busy. Too busy. I have a tour.

He nods toward a colorful TOUR BUS.

STEVE

A tour, good. I'm a student of Chinese culture myself.

EGG SHEN

I'm busy...very busy.

STEVE

We need to talk about this.

Steve holds up a picture of the stolen jade. Egg reacts. He slips back inside the shop.

INT. SHOP

Egg pulls down the metal shutters, draws the shades, turns the "CLOSED" sign, locks the door.

STEVE

I'm Steve Van Duren.

EGG SHEN

(skeptical)

Curator of the Heritage Museum?

STEVE

That's my father. I'm Steve Junior. Assistant Curator.

EGG SHEN

And your father, the famous scholar...put this... on public display?

STEVE

Ah... no. I did that!

EGG SHEN

You! Why?

STEVE

Well...it's...you must know... it's part of the Chai Tao. Isn't it. It's a key...sort of ....a Rosetta Stone...

EGG SHEN

Really! And where exactly is...this Rosetta Stone?

STEVE

Stolen. Last night. By those guys.

EGG SHEN

The Flame Lords!

STEVE

Yes.

EGG SHEN

Oh, I see. Well, Junior...what would your father say about ambition going before a secure security system.

STEVE

I was working on that.

EGG SHEN

What do you know about this Chai Tao?

STEVE

Lots. I was...I was in Xi'an when Li Toa found the Emperor's tomb.

EGG SHEN

You?

STEVE

Yes.

EGG SHEN

How old were you?

STEVE

Well...I was three. But I remember my father talking about it. And I've been researching it ever since.

Egg pushes him out the door.

EXT. STREET.

They walk up to a gaily painted tour bus.

EGG SHEN

Ahhh...all you young pups. You are all the same. You remind me of Kok Leong. He's just like you.

STEVE

How so?

EGG SHEN

Impatient.

STEVE

I've been studying this subject for nineteen years!

EGG SHEN

And you are still not ready. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in this mess, would you?

STEVE

I want to be ready. I want to learn from you. But I also have this.

Steve hands him the picture. Egg studies it closely.

EGG SHEN

Get on bus.

(Steve jumps on. Egg stops

him.)

But first buy ticket!

Steve fumbles in his pocket as Eggs eyes fall to...

CU - PICTURE OF THE STOLEN JADE

It's very similar to Egg's piece.

EGG SHEN

Saw Jai...what have you done!

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

CU - THE STOLEN JADE PIECE

EXT./INT. CHI LUNG'S WAREHOUSE - A FORTRESS HEADQUARTERS

Chi Lung admires the stolen JADE as Bobby looks on proudly.

Chi is ancient, powerful and dressed like a mandarin. His room's furnished in exquisite art. He's evil, but with a quirky, Alan Rickman/Jeremy Irons sense of humor.

Bobby's attitude has changed. He's uneasy before this powerful sorcerer. Chi rules by intimidation.

BOBBY

So...what's it worth, Boss? Why's this thing so important to you, anyway?

CHI LUNG

(very scary, threatening)

Oh, you are interested in the secrets of my power?

BOBBY

Ahhh...no. No. Not really. Just curious, that's all.

CHI LUNG

You wouldn't think of questioning my authority...

BOBBY

Me? NOoooo....

CHI LUNG

Your loyalty to me is...

BOBBY

...uh..UNquestioned...Totally!

CHI LUNG

You were a lowly street hood and I made you...

BOBBY

Leader of the Flame Lords, your magnificence, and I am deeply grateful. It's just... well, we have expenses... gas, rope...tolls for the bridge...

CHI LUNG

(angry)

Money! You want money?! From me!

Bobby notes the frenzy with which Chi makes certain incantations. He notices Chi's entranced by the stolen jade.

BOBBY

Ah...no, never mind. You seem a little...out of sorts, Boss. Is anything wrong?

CHI LUNG

(looks up from the jade,

snaps)

Oh, no. Everything's...peachy.

BOBBY

You seem kind of...

CHI LUNG

Irritable?

BOBBY

You, Boss! Irritable? Oh, no!

A FORCE BEAM shoots from Chi's palm, impales Bobby and lifts him by the throat, levitating him, choking...

BOBBY

Oh, no. Nope. It's really clear. Wow, Boss, impressive! You can let me down. Very... very wonderful powers you have. Very... powerful power. I mean, how do you do all this neat stuff, anyway?

(Chi turns away. Bobby

slams to the floor.)

Oooof!

CHI LUNG

Oh, you know. The usual. Pact with the devil. Knowledge that is power and all that. But as usual and very disturbing to me...with certain...provisos.

(calls up images. Chinese

ideograms appear.

I've studied the ancient texts.

BOBBY

The ones you had me steal.

CHI LUNG

Borrow. Short term loan. They've revealed the CHAI TAO! The SECRET MAGICAL ARTIFACT that will give me ultimate earthly power.

Bobby takes it.

BOBBY

That?...

Chi snatches it back. With a wave he banishes all aides except Bobby. The others withdraw. The lights dim. A spot highlights just Chi and the jade.

CHI LUNG

ONE of the THREE PIECES separated by YAMA, to prevent their power from falling into...

BOBBY

(helpfully)

Evil hands.

Chi glares daggers at him.

CHI LUNG

Well, when I have the complete Chai Tao, it won't matter, will it?

He pulls a SECOND PIECE from his robe and holds them close. An unearthly GONG RINGS. Bobby staggers, holding his ears.

BOBBY

What the hell is that!

CHI LUNG

Yes. As a matter of fact, it is.

BOBBY

What?

CHI LUNG

Time to complete the bargain. The clock now starts. We have 12 hours from the time the TWO PIECES are combined ...to find and take possession of the THIRD.

BOBBY

Or what? Wait a minute...Or what?!

Chi brings the two pieces together.

CHI LUNG

Yen Lo, Servant of Yama. I summon thee!

A THUNDERCLAP! Bobby grabs his ears and cowers. Chi looks down with disdain. And unearthly HOWL. The statues SHUDDER!

BOBBY

Yen who? Servant of What?!

CHI LUNG

Oh, one of the lords of Hell.

BOBBY

Hell. Real Hell?!

CHI LUNG

Yes, of course.

BOBBY

Of course!? Boss, you been dipping into the Bok Fun again?

CHI LUNG

(threatening roar)

You brought me the power of the Chai Tao! You do believe in what we're trying to do?

Chi threatens. Bobby quakes.

BOBBY

Yes sir...of course! Power is good...more power...just what we need. It's just... what's all this about...Hell?

He notices with fear the changes taking place in the room.

CHI LUNG

Pay attention! Pact with the devil. We have two pieces of the Chai, we get the third piece within 12 hours...no problem. In fact. I will rule hell.

BOBBY

Helloooo! You'll forgive me ...Wise One, but why would anybody make a deal like that? I mean, actually want to go to Hell?

CHI LUNG

Conversation's better. Lot of the deep thinkers are there. I really don't mind, it's just that I hadn't planned on going for... say...several hundred more years.

BOBBY grows uneasy as...

BOBBY'S POV

Statues around the room are changing, coming alive.

CHI LUNG

Besides I'm sure there's a loophole...somewhere.

(glances at Bobby)

Something bothering you?

BOBBY

Uhh...Nothing..No... except ...maybe...well, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that

(points to a gargoyle)

is...coming...to life!

(suddenly wants to depart)

Listen, don't pay me now. I'll just put it on your tab.

Chi places the JADE PIECES on an altar. They emanate power. A RUMBLING HOWL FROM HELL! Gargoyles move. Terrified, Bobby snatches ONE OF THE JADE PIECES, holds it up before him like a protective talisman. Chi is outraged.

CHI LUNG

What are you doing, you fool!

BOBBY

You never mentioned the part about Hell.

CHI LUNG

Must've slipped my mind.

BOBBY

If this has power, maybe it'll protect me.

CHI LUNG

Give me that, you twit!

(Bobby shrinks back)

Don't worry. You're with me!

BOBBY

Yeah sure! The guy about to go to Hell. Great! Look, I want protection!

CHI LUNG

Dammit! Careful what you wish for!

But Bobby's demand triggers a change. The jade GLOWS. He drops it, burning his hand. Chi snaps it up, hides it in the folds of his robe. The room RUMBLES! Walls EXPLODE! In a burst of radiance, Yen Lo arrives. And he is pissed!

The PROCESS SERVER FROM HELL confronts Chi. YEN LO is big and scary as Jack Palance on a bad hair day. He's dressed in blue robes, a conical hat, with a silver serpent embroidered on his chest. He looms over the others, intimidating...

YEN LO

Who commands me?

CHI LUNG

I, Chi Lung, have summoned you, Yen Lo, servant of Yama!

He scoops up the SECOND JADE PIECE from the floor and shows it to him. Yen is shocked.

CHI LUNG

By this piece of the Chai Tao I lay claim to the throne.

YEN LO

You...have violated the rules!

CHI LUNG

Violated. No. I don't think so. No no, I don't believe I have. Certain provisions are, of course, open to legal interpretation.

YEN LO

Don't anger me, Chi Lung! I'm from Hell. We have plenty lawyers. You have violated the agreement and let me see...

(A flaming ledger appears)

Your record doesn't look so good.

CHI LUNG

Oh? How so?

YEN LO

Rape. Pillage. Extortion. Usury. White Slavery. Murder.

CHI LUNG

Now, I believe those are all permitted...under Codicil B...

YEN LO

...Loan sharking, tax evasion, arson, kidnapping, sedition. You tear tags off mattresses. And you never curb your dogs.

CHI LUNG

This is a deal with the devil. Those things are permitted. Encouraged, even! I do them myself. I instigate them in others. How else would you maintain your recruiting volume?

YEN LO

Yes. These are minor things. But you have committed the most serious crime. You've tried to get control of the CHAI TAO. So, I demand that you, Chi Lung, accompany me to...JUDGEMENT. Now!

A BLAST OF THUNDER and LIGHTNING underscores his demand.

The smoke clears. Chi just stands there, unimpressed.

CHI LUNG

No reason for you to get so high and mighty. You ARE, after all, from Hell.

Chi Lung snatches THE JADE from the Altar and fits it with the SECOND PIECE he whips out from beneath his robe. A FLASH! Yen Lo is blown back into a dragon throne. The dragons come alive, snake around and hold him fast.

CHI LUNG

You've grown careless, Yen. I have not one...but two! I now make my claim over the Lords of Hell, and when YOU help me get the THIRD AND FINAL PIECE, I will rule the earth as well!

Yen Lo struggles mightily but the combined power of the two artifacts traps him, holds him on the throne. Bobby's awed.

BOBBY

You have the power? You can hold him there?

YEN LO

Not for long, Chi Lung. The judges have been summoned.

BOBBY

Judges, what judges?

CHI LUNG

Oh, the ones from Hell. Now, I really NEED the third piece.

YEN LO

You have just twelve hours!

BOBBY

Then what?

YEN LO

All Hell breaks loose.

Chi waves...Thunder! Lightning! Flames and smoke break out. The room ROCKS under the evil spell.

END ACT TWO

ACT TWO

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - MOMENTS LATER

Bobby studies Yen Lo raging within the dragons' grip.

BOBBY

Is he okay there?

CHI LUNG

Well, if he escapes my control, he's going to be rather cross with you!

BOBBY

Me?!

(Chi nods)

Well, who's got the other piece? How do we get it?

Chi grins down at Yen.

CHI LUNG

You wouldn't care to tell?

(Yen Lo flips him the

Chinese Bird.)

Egg Shen, perhaps?

BOBBY

The good wizard?

CHI LUNG

Good wizard? Good wizard? Oh, he likes to call himself that. Truth is, it's all about power. I've known for years, Egg has the THIRD PIECE. But I didn't dare move until some fool found the SECOND piece and put it on display in a museum!...

BOBBY

Egg's tough. How do we get the piece away from him?

CHI LUNG

My plan is simple. In a word... Trouble. Big Trouble.

BOBBY

That's two words.

CHI LUNG

(turns and bellows!)

Flame Lords!

Doors burst open. Flame Lords rush in. They fall into ranks at stiff attention. Chi Lung struts before them like Patton.

CHI LUNG

(to Bobby)

You give him a message. Unless he surrenders the final Chai Tao, Little China will be reduced to..to...Egg Foo Yung!

(turns to the ranks)

Flame Lords...Out! Out! Begone! Be BAD! Cause Trouble!

He claps. The Lords RUSH OUT for a spree of destruction.

STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - SAME TIME

A GAILY PAINTED TOURIST BUS rumbles down Grant Street.

INT. BUS

EGG SHEN lectures on Little China. The bus is painted in Chinese motifs finished in red lacquer. Egg looks down the streets, into alleys. He's distracted and lecturing half- heartedly. Steve sits nearby and questions, much to Egg's annoyance, and to the mystification of the tourists.

EGG SHEN

...No. Chinese men were brought over to work on the railroads. Women followed later but the first generations never really assimilated...

STEVE

Yeah, they brought their own beliefs, their mystical priests, their magic.

EGG SHEN

Not true. Actually insulting to Chinese. There are, of course, no such things as demons, sorcery or magic ...within the Chinese scheme of beliefs. Chinese are very rational, law-abiding...

STEVE

What about the Tong wars?

At this, Egg swerves the bus over to the curb in front of a tea shop, opens the door, turns to the few tourist riders.

EGG SHEN

Rest stop. Five minutes. You go shop. Very good tea.

They pile off. Egg turns to Steve, serious, now.

EGG SHEN

The Tong wars?

STEVE

Forty-three people killed. In disputes over drugs, white slavery... gang warfare...

EGG SHEN

Err, that was a long time ago.

STEVE

And there is no power in the Chai Tao...

EGG SHEN

Chai...no. That is just myth.

Steve shows him a photo of the stolen jade again.

EGG SHEN

Where did you get it?

STEVE

I found it. ...by accident... ...in the vault.

EGG SHEN

You did?

STEVE

In the Fung collection.

EGG SHEN

Fung was a guardian!? I knew it!

STEVE

A guardian? What's that?

EGG SHEN

Nothing. Never mind.

(to himself)

If the Flame Lords have it, then Chi Lung has it. That is very bad.

STEVE

Yes, if you believe in the power of the Chai Tao.

EGG SHEN

(dismissive)

Oh, that is just an old story, an old wives' tale.

Steve shows him the COMPUTER RENDERING OF THE Chai Tao piece with the two missing pieces rendered in WIRE FRAME.

STEVE

Whoever stole the piece is likely to have one of these other pieces. That would give him power...would it not?... your friend Chi Lung?

Egg blanches.

EGG SHEN

He would never dare!

(catches himself)

Anyway...it's all rumors, all myth.

STEVE

Maybe, but if it isn't, you might be in danger. Why don't you let me help you?

EGG SHEN

No...no. You do not need to get involved. Thank you. Nothing personal...

STEVE

Everything's personal...

EXT. STREET

The tourists get back on the bus clutching packages as... A LION DANCE approaches...Tumbling kids, streaming banners, Music and gongs. A golden paper Dragon-Lion weaves down the street dancing, leaping, blocking traffic, blocking the bus as the tourists climb back aboard and take seats. One lady proudly shows off a souvenir.

ALMA

Look Ida. A piece of the great wall.

Steve looks askance...

STEVE

The great wall...really! You sent them there, Egg. You're a fraud!

EGG SHEN

Look. If you really had a piece of the great wall would you sell it to a woman in an "Elvis Lives" T-shirt.

STEVE

And you speak pretty good English. Why do you talk like Charlie Chan in front of the tourists?

EGG SHEN

It's what they expect. All part of the experience.

STEVE

You give them what they want to see. And hide the real Chinatown...the magic.

EGG SHEN

One does what one has to do to get by. And to carry out one's responsibilites.

Steve notices a picture of a Chinese kid taped to the dash.

STEVE

And you must pass those responsibilities on to a new generation...Who's this?

EGG SHEN

Yo Ling. My Son.

STEVE

The next...guardian?

EGG

(shakes his head sadly)

He's developing condos in Miami Beach. Not so easy to find respect for the old ways in the new generation. Too many distractions.

ANGLE - BACK OF THE BUS

Two midwestern tourists, ALMA and IDA look at the passing parade, fascinated, clicking their Kodaks. The kid in the lion head leaps on another's shoulders. He shakes and roars.

IDA

Oh look, Alma, a Lion Dance. Isn't that cute...

The Lion leaps at the window. She raises her camera. The lion's mouth opens. She snaps a nice Close-Up of a fearsome FLAME LORD. He SCREAMS at her.

FLAME LORD

Ng ho ying sheung! Bok gwei!

(Don't take photos, White Ghost!)

He smashes the window and grins madly.

IDA

She's gone rigid, too shocked to scream. Her companion hasn't seen a thing. She turns to her.

ALMA

What was that, Ida?

Then she notices Ida's face and the grinning Flame Lord. She...SCREAMS!

Steve turns. The tourists sit terrified, as the lion dancers smash into the bus.

STEVE

So there's no current gang activity?

EGG SHEN

In Chinatown? Of course not.

Just as Egg says it, more Flame Lords burst from an alley and sweep up the street, creating chaos. They overturn trashcans, knock over cyclists. They leap at the bus, run up the sides, dance on the roof. Tourists SCREAM! Doors burst open. Flame Lords fly in.

EGG SHEN

It's nothing. Don't be alarmed. Just a Lion Dance. All part of the show.

BOBBY

Oh no, Egg.

(smashes a window)

A message from Chi Lung.

EGG SHEN

Flame Lords! Begone! You cannot do this!

BOBBY

Wrong. This is just a start. You have something Chi Lung wants. And until he gets it, we take what we want.

Egg slams it into gear, pops the clutch, sending Flame Lords tumbling. Bobby's up, hopping over tourists. He leaps for Egg. They struggle. Bobby yanks the wheel. The bus crashes into a car. Passengers tumble. FLame Lords come forward. Steve again takes a martial arts stance. They laugh, then stop laughing and advance toward him.

BOBBY

No. You still ain't got it.

Look. It's like this.

He snaps into a Martial Arts stance. They surround Steve. Egg Shen moves up, takes a stance next to Steve. He's old, but something about him says 'don't mess with me.'

EGG SHEN

Bok Sum! White Hearts!

It's a call to arm. It echoes through...

EXT. LITTLE CHINA

All along Grant Street, Street Lights in the form of CHINESE LANTERNS GLOW...They PULSE BRIGHTLY...A MESSAGE.

MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN

Kids note the flickering lanterns. They slip into alleys, storefronts, parked cars. They re-emerge wearing white jackets with blue and green trim and matching headbands. They are...THE WHITE HEARTS.

INT. THE BUS

Bobby moves on Egg, stalking, feinting attacks.

BOBBY

Give up the jade!

SUDDENLY - The White Hearts appear and engage the Flame Lords. The leader's a good-looking youth; JACKSON CHIN. He moves and fights so fast, he's a blur, like seeing double. That's why he's called "DOUBLE" CHIN. All over the street, in the bus, on the bus...White Hearts fight the Flame Lords to a standstill. Then they drive them back. Then SIRENS, POLICE. Suddenly, the Flame Lords' position is untenable. Steve faces off against Bobby, but Bobby gives a sign...a challenge.

BOBBY

We will meet again.

STEVE

I'm looking forward to it.

The Lords leap out the door, chased by the White Hearts. In a wink, they're all gone.

Egg Shen slumps. The bus driver has an injured shoulder. He tries to turn the wheel but can't. He winces in pain. Steve pulls him out from behind the wheel, drags him to a seat.

EGG SHEN

What are you doing?

STEVE

Just helping out.

EGG SHEN

No, thank you.

STEVE

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

In the back, some tourists are terrified.

TOURIST 1

What was that?!!

Some are irate.

TOURIST 2

What about our tour?

TOURIST 3

Yeah! We paid for a tour.

Steve glances at Egg Shen. He has a pained look on his face.

STEVE

Sorry folks, tour's over.

TOURIST 1

At least get us back to our hotel.

They look at Egg Shen. He hesitates.

STEVE

Look, I can drive. More or less. Whadaya got to lose?

He slips into the driver's seat, starts up, grinding gears.

EGG SHEN

Hey kid!

STEVE

What?

EGG SHEN

Ever driven a bus before?

STEVE

Hey, how hard can it be?

CRASH! Steve looks outside.

STEVE

That car was already damaged. It shouldn't count against me.

BOOOMM! He rips off the side of a parked car.

TOURIST 2

Oh, you can let us out here.

STEVE

Don't be silly. It's nothing. No trouble at all.

Steve tries to pull out, but the tourists clamber off the bus, leaving him with Egg.

STEVE

Wait. I didn't get to tell you about the Chai Tao. Unlimited earthly power. And you all know how much fun that can be.

EGG SHEN

Be silent.

(to the tourists)

Don't believe a word of this. It's all fantasy.

Egg slams the door, cutting Steve off. He turns to him.

EGG SHEN

How do you know such things?

STEVE

PHd. Asian Studies. Berkeley.

EGG SHEN

Oh...book learning!

STEVE

In the twenty seventh century A.D., in the Hsia (Sha) period of Mythical Sages, the Court of Xuang Wa was overrun by horsemen from the north. The Imperial Wizard, Fu Hsi, inventor of the eight trigrams, sacrificed the most beautiful maidens in the Three Kingdoms to the Hell God, Yama, Keeper of the Gate...in return for a secret power to keep the Barbarians at bay. This power was contained in, and focussed by, the Chai Tao. As you know.

A beat. Egg's impressed, but dismissive.

EGG SHEN

Ahh...yes. Very good. But you know nothing about the real Chinatown.

STEVE

Because I'm not Chinese?

EGG SHEN

No. Because you are a Saw jai!

(young fool)

STEVE

If I am a Saw jai, you are a Lo Saw See Fool! (foolish old man) I am offering you help and you need help. You could teach me. I'd help you out. We could team up.

EGG SHEN

No. I don't need your help.

A BLAST OF THUNDER. LIGHTNING FLASHES, clouds let go.

STEVE

Looks like you may need all

the help you can get.

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME

ANGRY DISCHARGES SPARK around Chi Lung as he glares at the Flame Lords straggling in...and at Bobby, empty-handed.

CHI LUNG

The Jade?!

(Bobby shrugs helplessly)

What about Egg Shen?

BOBBY

He has what you might call, a bad attitude.

CHI LUNG

So?!!!

BOBBY

There were White Hearts, and cops...and some pain-in-the- butt Anglo guy.

CHI LUNG

Excuses! I ask for the Chai Tao. You bring me excuses!

CHI LUNG (CON')

Yes...I see... The only way to control people is through fear. And what people fear most are the Demons from Hell. And, of course, the IRS. Therefore, I have captured this demon Yen Lo and bent him to my will. Through him, other demons will be summoned and you, my Flame Lords ... will have the honor...to serve as their willing vessels.

There's muttering in the ranks. Chi turns to them, fixes them with his glare.

FLAME LORD 1

Willing vessels, Geez, your worship... I don't know.

CHI LUNG

You will have more power than you ever dreamed of.

FLAME LORD 2

But my Lord, I... I mean... if they...if they inhabit our bodies, what happens to us?

FLAME LORD 1

Yeah, what if we're not willing?

Chi's grin freezes. He levels a scary killer stare at the miscreant. Then he claps his hands. Flame Lord One bursts into flame, burns fiercely, turns to ash. A moment of stunned silence. The other Lords get the point.

FLAME LORD 2

Demons. That's not so bad.

Chi turns to Yen Lo, SCREAMS!

CHI LUNG

You paying attention? Demons!

Yen Lo steams with anger. He resists.

YEN LO

You know the price?

Chi waves his objection away.

CHI LUNG

Yes, of course, virgins. Standard price? One virgin for each demon. I so demand!

YEN LO

Very well. You asked for it. Demons! Day Die Gwei Lei La!

(Hell God, come to me!)

He claps his hands. Around him Demons coalesce, swirl and stream out, up, into..

INT. THRONE ROOM

One by one the Flame Lords are possessed. Their eyes glow with fire, their tongues turn black, steam comes out of their ears. They do a crazy, hip-hop demon dance.

CHI LUNG

Now...that's the spirit!

Bobby notices that he himself hasn't changed.

BOBBY

Hey Boss. What about me?

CHI LUNG

Mindless slaves are only so useful. Your loyalty is unquestioned. Right?!

BOBBY

Oh, absolutely your worshipfulness.

CHI LUNG

Good. Glad to have you on board. Now...think TROUBLE!!!

He makes a magical wave.

EXT. STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO

Above Little China, clouds roll in, thunder and spiked lightning...a Chinese Walpurgisnacht.

END ACT THREE

ACT FOUR

EXT. DOWNTOWN SAN FRANCISCO

The storm cloud seems to hang directly over Chinatown like another dimension of darkness, rain and mystery. Egg's bus zooms by the China Gate. A police car pulls out and follows.

INT. POLICE CAR.

Clarence guns it, grabs the radio mike, calls in.

CLARENCE

Unit Twelve. I've got Egg at the China Gate. I'm going in. Something's happening in Little China. I want back up!

EXT. CHINA GATE

The bus zips through but Clarence, following closely, seems to hit a magical barrier. The GATE BULGES IN AND SNAPS BACK. The car stalls. Clarence is out, tries to run through the BARRIER but is thrown back as if bounced off a trampoline.

EXT. CHINATOWN STREETS

The PACIFIC POWER truck weaves through a downpour.

INT. TRUCK.

Kim and BRAD, wrestle their truck through the wet streets.

BRAD

Jeez, look at that! Looks like it's hanging right over Little China. Maybe we should get help.

KIM

Pull yourself together, Brad.

EXT. EGG'S STREET - ANTIQUE SHOP

Egg's bus pulls into the Egg's Antiquities Shop garage.

INT. GARAGE

Egg hops out and scurries off, distracted. Steve is suddenly left alone. But what he sees amazes him. Everywhere he looks, books, artifacts, objets d'art...it's a curator's wet dream. The back of the store is a maze, a rabbit's warren of boxes and shelves piled to the ceiling with (cheap props).

STEVE

Wow! Look at this stuff. Shen! Mr. Egg! The Yut Lick Tung Sing! The Chinese almanac; the T'ang codex. Mr. Egg, can I have a word with you?

Steve walks through the maze to the front of the shop, fascinated. It too is filled with ancient, weird Chinese things...dusty books, artifacts, curios of all types. Then he looks up. The shop's been trashed!

STEVE

Geeez! Egg...somebody's been here. And looking for something...looks like...

Egg pushes him out the door.

EGG SHEN

Thank you. Goodbye.

STEVE

Goodbye?! No. Wait... you can't do that!

(Egg turns back...)

I have some questions.

But Egg's distracted. He looks out at the gathering storm and moves around the shop muttering to himself and gathering up old dusty jars filled with strange powders and liquids.

EGG SHEN

No. It's dangerous. Too dangerous. You must go.

Egg shoos him out and closes the shop.

END OF EGG'S STREET

Kim and Brad pull up in spooky darkness and flickering power lines. One sparking line is attached to Egg's shop.

BRAD

Jeez. It's dark!

KIM

And it's our job to turn on the lights. Come on.

She hops out but Brad is reluctant.

EXT. STREET

Electricity crackles from downed powerlines. All business, Kim slips on a hardhat, a climbing belt. She gracefully and powerfully scales the pole. Brad is spooked.

BRAD

Kim...be careful.

KIM

Cut the power, Brad.

Brad opens up a manhole and slips down to cut the circuit.

EXT. EGG'S ANTIQUE SHOP

Steve stands outside in the rain. Egg Shen can't believe it. He goes to the door, arms full of magical elements, jars, powders, potions...He's exasperated.

EGG SHEN

What do you think you're doing?

STEVE

Admit it. You're testing me.

EGG SHEN

Worse. I'm ignoring you.

STEVE

I saw it on Kung Fu. All the other students ran off when it rained. Grasshopper stayed where he was.

EGG SHEN

Grasshopper was an ACTOR! He was the STAR of the show! In real life, we look for intelligence.

Egg slams the door. Steve looks at us. It's not supposed to go this way. He stands dripping in the rain. The door opens.

EGG SHEN

Am I supposed to be impressed by someone too dumb to get out of the rain?

STEVE