EXT. FRENCH COAST - GERMAN RADAR STATION
INT. RADAR STATION
A tech notices a new blip on the screen, picks up the phone.
EXT. ABBEVILLE - LUFTWAFFE BASE
Pilots and crews scramble toward the alert ME 109's.
Fighters take off, climbing hard into the sun.
EXT. AERIAL - THE BALLOON
A gorgeous ride to the clouds. Jim shares the beauty with
Miranda. The Gremlins drop down, trailing the banner.
JIM
Slow has its good points, I must
admit. Um, what's that?
ALBERT
Can the captain of a ship marry a
couple at sea?
JIM
Yes, but.
ALBERT
Then the captain of a balloon can
marry a couple in flight. You two
are meant for each other.
LUCKY
Yeah, even we can see that.
MIRANDA
What, We hardly know each other.
LUCKY
You never will if you don't try.
Anyone else have a reason why this
lovely couple should not be wed.
(A bird flies by SQUAWKING.)
Quiet! Anybody else? Nope? So,
the honeymoon! Presenting..France!
They look down...
JIM
Oh, my gosh!
THEIR POV
They're over the channel and just coming to the coastline of
France. Far below he can see the sparkle of...
EXT. AERIAL - GERMAN FIGHTERS
...as the intercepter flight climbs for the clouds.
EXT. AERIAL - BALLOON
JIM
Jerries! Can this go faster?
MIRANDA
No, it drifts with the wind.
JIM
Higher then?
MIRANDA
Throw everything out.
Frantically, they do. In his haste, Jim even grabs Lucky.
who SCREECHES, hangs onto the basket and stretches until Jim
realizes what he's doing. He looks out. The Germans climb
closer. The balloon hangs just under the cloud layer.
JIM
We gotta get into the clouds.
ALBERT
Come on.
The Gremlins lead them out of the basket into the shrouds.
Then up, up. Under the overhang. The basket weaves back and
forth below. Miranda's terrified. Jim grabs her, hangs on.
Up around the bulge. The balloon heaves in the wind, swings
them out over space, then sucks them back into the folds.
Pulling hand over hand up the web rope that encloses the
bag, they enter clouds, reach the top of the balloon, and
carefully stand up. Total Grey. SFX - ME109'S CIRCLING.
Lucky picks up their radio, bulges and radiates as he
vibrates with the fury of their baffled radio calls..
LUCKY
(in gutteral German)
Where is it? Can't find it! Shoot
it down! Don't let it get away!
MIRANDA
Jim, I'm scared.
He takes her in his arms. Momentarily lost in her eyes, he
forgets the war. A ROAR as Germans circle like sharks, dim
outlines in the clouds.
They ROAR closer, then FADE. A ray of golden sun lights
Miranda's hair. Jim looks up in wonder.
INT. THE CLOUDS - A FANTASTIC CLOUD CITY
opens before us...a giant cavern with elaborate structures.
The ENGINE SOUNDS fade away and WIND MUSIC fills the void.
THE TOP OF THE BALLOON CANOPY
barely peeks through the floor of the cavern. Jim and
Miranda appear to be walking on clouds. Around them Gremlins
appear, including one frizzled, white-haired stately one.
BEEZLE
Xooly, is that you?
ALBERT
Oh, Hi dad. Call me... Albert.
BEEZLE
Albert?!
Lucky steps forward, majestically.
LUCKY
Ahemm... Yes.. Pre....senting
"Prince Albert In a Can."
BEEZLE
Prince who in a what?
LUCKY
And I, o'course, am Lucky Strike
Means Fine Tobacco, at your
service.
BEEZLE
Snooly, what're you talking about?
ALBERT
Ah...errr..nothing...Nothing.
Earth names, that's all.
He bows low. Other gremlins come forward. They peer with
trepidation at the humans. Miranda smiles hesitantly and
starres with wonder. At altitude grems are regal. Albert and
Lucky stretch to twice their earthbound height.
LUCKY
And...Ahem...Jim and Miranda,
two heroic...er...humans!
BEEZLE
Humans?
LUCKY
You know, the ones who fly planes.
ALL GREMLINS
THE PLANES!
PIZZZZOWWW! At the word, Gremlins BOLT. They scatter in
blind panic, leaving tracer streaks. In a second there is no
one there, just an empty cloudscape. Maybe a few sets of
Gremlin eyes peering from behind cloud puffs.
LUCKY
Wait! Where'd everybody go?
One brave little grem shows himself slightly. BEEZLE peers..
BEEZLE
Albert...Humans? Here?
ALBERT
It's alright, Dad. They aren't
like the other ones.
BEEZLE
They aren't? They look the same.
ALBERT
Yes, but these are different.
BEEZLE
But he's a pilot. One of those who
fly the planes that attack us. In
fact, he looks familiar.
ALBERT
But understand. He doesn't really
want to blow things up.
BEEZLE
No?
LUCKY
No. It's just like....well a bad
habit. He just likes to fly. To
zoom about the clouds. Like us.
Curious Gremlin eyes appear.
BEEZLE
They aren't like the others?
LUCKY
No. They are our friends.
One by one, then in groups, Gremlins sneak back. They
cluster around, poking Jim to see if he's real. Miranda feels
something on her shoulder. She freezes, slowly turns!
MIRANDA
EAaaahhh!
Two big gremlin eyes snap open in shock. The baby Gremlin
PLOOKY, jumps straight up in fright...Others scatter.
LUCKY
See, your honor, there's a big
difference in humans! Some go...
(He TRANSFORMS into a tiny
NAZI, SCREAMING German)
There they are! Arm your guns!
Shoot it! Shoot it down!
(He PLOPS back to Lucky)
And some just go...EEEEK!
Plooky jumps straight up again.
MIRANDA
Oh, don't scare him like that.
Plooky flaps like a hummingbird in the air. She takes him
gently, holds him to her breast stroking and calming him. The
Gremlins see this and move in, now more trusting. Jim and
Miranda quickly lose track of time.
EXT. AERIAL - WORLD SHOT
The balloon ascends with the clouds. Below, you can see all
the south eastern coast of England, the Channel and beyond
...the forbidding coast of Festung Europa...Fortress Europe!
GREMLIN - MAIN PLAZA
Lucky goofs and babbles. Albert struts around importantly.
Covered by cloud wreaths of victory, he takes the floor.
ALBERT
I've discovered what the problem
is. We've drifted to part of the
world where a war is going on.
A little kid Gremlin, Bloogy.
BLOOGY
A war, what's that?
ALBERT
A war is an important human event
...er, in which humans pick sides.
BLOOGY
Like in wind hockey...?
ALBERT
Er...ah...yes. Just like that. And
then they proceed to beat the heck
out of each other.
BLOOGY
How do they do that?
ALBERT
Er ahhh.. Well, they bomb each
other and shoot each other and
blow each other up.
BLOOGY
That doesn't seem like much fun.
ALBERT
Yes, I know. But for them, well,
it is. I can't explain it. Maybe
this human can.
JIM
Me?!!!
Jim looks at the peaceful skyscape. The happy Gremlins, the
families with little ones...so different from the world
below. He looks at Miranda. She's no help, either.
JIM
We have to fight the Nazis. It's
over freedom. I don't really know
how it all got to this point, just
that we have to do it.
BLOOGY
But why?
JIM
Because it's our duty.
FLOOB
I don't think I follow that.
GLERB
Duty? To kill other humans?
JIM
Yes, well it's a technical thing.
BLOOGY
(gestures toward Miranda)
Would you kill this human?
JIM
No. Never.
FLOOB
What if she was your enemy?
JIM
Never.
BLOOGY
But you're zooming around so fast,
how would you know?
JIM
When we feel certain things for
each other, we know.
BLOOGY
You feel something for each other?
JIM
(embarrassed, awkward)
Well...uh...I think...uh...
Miranda moves forth, looks at him.
MIRANDA
Yes. We do.
Jim's stunned. He forgets everything but her. He forgets
where he is, steps forward, disappears through the clouds.
ANGLE - LUCKY - TRAVELING
He grabs others in a Gremlin-chain. They dive down and catch
Jim. He barely seems to notice. He's swooning. It's love.
LUCKY
What happened?
JIM
She likes me.
LUCKY
Of course. Even I can see that.
JIM
But... She never said it before.
They SWOOP back up to the clouds.
INT. CLOUDSCAPE
They drop Jim into Miranda's arms. The lovers embrace. For
them, there's no one else in the world. The Gremlin leader
comes over to Albert and Lucky.
BEEZLE
Strange creatures.
ALBERT
You don't know the half of it!
LUCKY
They fight each other for reasons
they aren't very clear about.
ALBERT
They fall in love and don't even
tell each other.
LUCKY
And they think we're strange!
Well, what can we do about it?
Albert looks at Beezle. Beezle nods "go ahead". Albert
gathers himself...concentrates. He TRANSFORMS into a
SUPERGREMLIN, almost surprising himself. He spits on his
hands, rubs them together and sets himself like a split end.
Then he jumps into the air and BELLOWS a Gremlin MAGICAL
COMMAND. He CLAPS HIS HANDS like the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
The clouds are blown about by his BELLOW and the power of his
command. He glances back over his shoulder to be sure they
all notice his effect. They're amazed.
At Albert's direction, the cloud forms into pillars, arches
and domes of a ballroom. And...STRANGE MUSIC!
Marching down a cloud corridor, A Gremlin Oompah Band. The
little guys open valves through their crystalline bodies to
act as whistles in the winds...a funny sound...like Pan
Pipes, jugs and a calliope combined.
Jim and Miranda are engulfed in celebration. Lucky and Al
take the humans on a tour, swoop around to see a peaceful
countryside of cloud forms. Gremlin families come out, wave.
JIM
What's that?
MIRANDA
Peace.
JIM
Oh, yes. I've almost forgotten
what it's like... It's so...I
don't know... peaceful.
They lie back on clouds floating over idyllic cloud country.
MIRANDA
Aren't they funny little creatures?
LUCKY AND ALBERT
peer over a nearby cloud puff, watching curiously.
ALBERT
Funny!?
JIM AND MIRANDA
JIM
Funny?
MIRANDA
Well, wonderful...how they keep
trying to marry us. It's so cute.
JIM
Miranda...I can't marry you. I
don't know if I'm coming back.
ANGLE - LUCKY AND ALBERT
ALBERT
Then even more reason to marry
her, numbskrutz!
LUCKY
I don't get it, Albert.
ALBERT
This guy is really flablooie!
ANGLE - JIM
JIM
To...to not come back. I wouldn't
want to leave you like that again.
ALBERT AND LUCKY
ALBERT
I don't get it, he's afraid of
losing something, so he won't take
it in the first place.
LUCKY
Yeah, how can you lose something
you don't even have?!
MIRANDA
I suppose...even in a war, you've
got to let yourself feel, you've
got to be able to love again.
JIM AND MIRANDA
JIM
Is that what you really think?
MIRANDA
No. It hurts. To lose someone you
love...it hurts too much.
LUCKY AND ALBERT
ALBERT
To never get it hurts even more, a
deep hurt you don't feel all at
once. Its just a cold, cold heart.
Lucky is amazed.
LUCKY
Why, Albert!
JIM AND MIRANDA
MIRANDA
What, did you hear something?
JIM
Only the beating of my heart.
He takes her in his arms...they drift off.
A ROAR! A BLAST! Enemy planes TEAR through the cloud! The
beautiful city is ripped apart! Gremlins are splattered!
Miranda's horrified! Gunfire RIPS through the balloon! It
collapses! Jim and Miranda fall from sight!
EXT. AERIAL - BALLOON
The balloon disintegrates, pitching them into the air. Jim
grabs a rope then Miranda as she falls by. The basket swings
underneath, and Jim slides down the rope into it. But the
torn balloon spews gas and falls fast. Jim and Miranda hug
tightly. She looks up lovingly as he holds her in his arms.
MIRANDA
It's strange. I should be
terrified but I'm not. Its like
we're just floating, floating away
to a different place...where its
peaceful... where there's no war.
JIM
For what it's worth, I love you.
MIRANDA
Worth?! It's worth everything.
A VOICE
Then kiss her, you fool!
They look up. Lucky drops toward them in a free fall tuck.
Other Grems trail in combat formation.
JIM
Lucky?
LUCKY
Then get the heck outta here! This
thing is going to crash BIG TIME!
They look up. Albert and the Grems form a chain from the
basket to the tattered balloon. Miranda, then Jim are passed
up into the shrouds as the basket tears away and falls free.
Miranda, Jim and the Gremlins drift with the barely
airworthy balloon. They float down, holding the balloon
together through the elasticity of their bodies. Suddenly, it
rips and dumps its remaining lift. They PLUNGE! The earth
spins up. Then SPROINNG! They are yanked to a slow descent!
They look up.
THEIR POV - ABOVE
The Gremlin squad has linked arms to act as a parachute for
them. Their tiny bodies balloon and stretch to hold the air.
THE BALLOON
Lightened, it sails away, carrying Lucky with it.
EXT. FIELD - OCCUPIED FRANCE - NEAR - ABBEVILLE,
They SMASH DOWN. Gremlins hit and roll in all directions,
CHATTERING. They BOING, SPLUSH AND KLONK through the trees.
JIM AND MIRANDA
Jim hits and rolls, cradling Miranda in his arms. They slam
up against a dirt bank. Stunned, he wakes to find his head on
her chest. He crawls up to her face.
MIRANDA
Still seeing little people?
JIM
Yes. But funny, their names are
little Miranda and Jim Junior.
They slowly move to kiss...when...
EXT. AERIAL - LUCKY AND THE BALLOON
He spots his friends below. He jumps.
LUCKY
Bombs away!!!
EXT. GROUND
Jim and Miranda kiss as SPLOING! Lucky drops right between
them. They kiss, and taste something funny. A Gremlin-like
HONK! They're eyes pop open wide to see...
LUCKY
He is pressed in the middle by their kiss and bulges. They
are kissing him. He giggles and turns red with embarassment.
LUCKY
(As a goofy Ed Wynn)
Goodness! I didn't know you cared!
JIM
We don't. I mean, we do. But in a
different way.
LUCKY
Oh, good. Cause that way tickles.
CHATTERING from the trees. Gremlins.
JIM
What's going on?
LUCKY
Oh, the usual. Arguing.
MIRANDA
What about?
LUCKY
Oh... the planes. the war.
MIRANDA
Are they going to take sides?
LUCKY
Well, there is a debate.
ANGLE - WOODS AND GREMLINS
Jim, Miranda and Lucky walk up. The Gremlins freeze.
ALBERT
It's okay, these are our friends.
BLOOGY
I don't know, Albert. Maybe we
shouldn't get involved with humans
and their wars.
LUCKY
Wait a minute. I've been listening
to the radio. This war isn't just
about Gremlins It's about freedom.
BLOOGY
Freedom?
FLOOG
What's that, Lucky?
LUCKY
Well, I'm not sure, but I think
it's about what we have in the
sky. Freedom. To go where we want,
to say what we want, to ...be what
we want.
BLOOGY
The Germans are against that?
LUCKY
I think so.
BLOOGY
It doesn't make sense.
LUCKY
Well, I know. But I trust Jim and
Miranda. They're our friends. Who
are you going to believe?
EXT./INT. BRITISH AERODROME - OPERATIONS - SAME TIME
Nigel enters with Clive. Officers study Jim's sketches.
NIGEL
No, I'm fine...fine, I tell you.
It was just overwork.
(glances at sketches)
There's no such thing as Gremlins,
or propellerless planes. My God!
CU - JIM'S SKETCH - THE GERMAN PLANE
BOFFIN
A jet.
Papa runs up, skids to a stop, salutes. The boffins cover
sketches. Nigel takes him away to where other pilots wait.
PAPA
Sorry sir, might I have a word?
NIGEL
I'm very busy...German bombs,
planes, gremlins, and now some
crazy people in a balloon.
PAPA
Yes, well, that's Jim and Miranda.
NIGEL
What?! What the hell are they
doing up there?
PAPA
Falling in love, I think.
NIGEL
Are all you Yanks crazy?
PAPA
I'm not sure. My Dad seems okay.
(a beat)
I'll go after them.
NIGEL
Not bloody likely. I won't risk
another man, even an American. If
they've done something this
stupid, they're on their own.
OCCUPIED FRANCE - NEAR ABBEVILLE AIRFIELD
Jim, Miranda and the Gremlins approach the base. Dogs BARK.
THEIR POV - THE AIRBASE
Massive hangars, bombers and fighters parked wing to wing.
Ranks of Anti-Aircraft Artillery barrels poke into the sky.
But they look closer. Jim moves up, peers hard.
JIM
Something's wrong.
LUCKY
Yeah, we're on the ground!
Dog's HOWL nearby. Lucky BOLTS, slips under the fence, runs.
JIM
No, wait! Come back here!
But the Gremlins scatter to wreak havoc. Jim and Miranda
sneak to the perimeter, the Gremlins slip right in.
Lucky rides in on an officer's shoulder. As he passes, a
guard salutes. Lucky, riding along ...returns the salute.
THE GUARD
takes a step, freezes. He turns to the officer. No Gremlin.
THE PERIMETER
Jim grabs Miranda. They run to the SECRET HANGAR, slip in.
INT. SECRET HANGAR - A PLANE SITS IN DIM LIGHT.
A silver monoplane with engines slung under the wing.
JIM
Come on!
He grabs her, pulls her away.
MIRANDA
Wait! This one's no good.
JIM
If it's a plane, I can fly it.
MIRANDA
But, it's got no propeller.
Jim looks up. He's been so busy running, he hasn't noticed.
Now he does. This is a different kind of plane.
VOICES IN THE HALLWAY! Nowhere to hide. Jim grabs her and
runs out the back. No good! Germans coming in. They turn.
Germans coming that way. Both groups see them and aim. Jim
raises his hands. So does Miranda. JUST THEN. A SHOUT
GRUFF VOICE
Achtung! Mein Fuhrer!
Godawful SCREAMING! A RANTING SCREECH that cuts through the
Germans. They cringe. In shadow, a man STOMPING. The walk's
familiar as is the Hitler Salute they snap to mimic.
JIM AND MIRANDA
Taking advantage of the distraction, he pulls her up on the
wing. They slip into the cockpit, scrunch down out of sight.
THEIR POV
The shadow figure marches down the hall. He steps into the
room of cringing Nazis and is revealed...as very small.
Lucky gives them his own salute! Thumb to his nose, he
wiggles his fingers at them. They look at their own arms,
raised in serious Nazi fashion. They turn purple in fury.
GERMANS
They drop their salute, go for their guns, FIRE! Lucky
hip-hops all over the place. They can't track him with their
Schmeissers but RIDDLE THE PLACE TO KINDLING in the attempt.
ONE GERMAN
swings his machinepistol toward Jim and Miranda. They duck
as bullets WHANG off the canopy.
CU CANOPY
Jim sneaks his head back up, He is face to face with HITLER!
Or Lucky's impression of Adolph. He MORPHS back to Lucky,
slips inside as bullets WHIP BY. Albert tumbles in after.
LUCKY
They're kind of angry. Was it
something I said? Oh, well,
what goes down, must come up.
He punches a red button.
EXT. PLANE - A BLUE FLAME! - A GAWDALMIGHTY ROAR!
Flames shoot out the back of the engine.
INT. COCKPIT
MIRANDA
We're on fire!
JIM
No, we're alright.
He finds the controls, pushes the throttle forward.
HIS POV
Directly ahead, the wall...
INT. COCKPIT
Albert's terrified, climbing all over Jim. He can't see.
LUCKY
What's this?
Lucky hits a red button on the stick...
INT. HANGAR
Cannons FIRE. The wall vaporizes. They plunge through.
EXT. HANGAR
They emerge from the FIREFIGHT into the middle of an AIR
RAID. Germans are behind them, ahead of them, all around
them! Jim pushes throttle. The plane ROARS ahead.
Lucky and Albert peer out the cockpit. Their eyes bug.
POV
A tank blocks the runway. It swings its gun on them.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT
Lucky and Albert use all their willpower. They STRETCH and
GROAN as they physically try to pull the plane into the air.
BLAM, something hits the canopy and slams Jim's head. He
slumps over. Everybody SCREAMS! Lucky dives for the controls.
He gets to the throttle, braces his back and pushes his feet
against it as hard as he can. Flames shoot out of the
engines. The plane LEAPS...and...
EXT. RUNWAY - THE JET PLANE
Clears the Germans by inches, spins helmets on their heads.
EXT. AERIAL - GERMAN FIGHTERS
Orbiting the field they look down to see the JET shoot up
right through their formation, knocking them about.
INT. ME 109 COCKPIT
The pilot's eyes bug as the JET cockpit zooms past.
GERMAN PILOT'S POV
Lucky is pressed to the plexiglas, giving him his Hitler
impression, and then a very rude gesture.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT
Jim's groggy, seeing double. No, it's Lucky moving around
the cockpit in a blur. Albert has a manual. He barks orders
RAPID FIRE to Lucky who has to be in three places at once.
ALBERT
Flaps up. Lean mixture. Stick
left, rudder, trim taps in, radio
channel one, switch boost off.
Lucky's a blur as he attempts to fly the plane by himself.
FLIGHT LINE - A BOMBER
staggers into the air, flown by CHATTERING gremlins.
EXT. AERIAL - GERMAN ME 109 - YELLOW FOUR
Gremlins get in the manifold and plug it up, swelling bigger
and bigger with the gasses. Gremlins in the carburator pull
the fuel line off. They suck on it like a straw. Their heads
balloon with petrol. They get a horrible wild-eyed look, spew
it all over the place.
INT. COCKPIT - YELLOW FOUR
The engine bursts into flames. Smoke fills the cockpit. The
ammo cooks off. Panicked, the pilot unstraps and bails out.
THE PLANE
EXPLODES IN MIDAIR, but the Gremlins ride the spiraling
pieces back up into the...
CLOUDS
A piece of wing arcs into a cloud shelf. Gremlins gracefully
step off and take bows to the CHEERING Gremlin crowd.
EXT. ME 109 YELLOW TWO
Grems all over the cockpit, turning knobs, pulling levers.
FLOOP
What's this do? What's this do?
They pull it. The plane flips on its back and plunges. The
German SCREAMS CURSES as he fights for control. A Grem fools
with the seat harness.
FLOOG
What's this do?
He unbuckles it. WHOOP! The pilot falls out...SCREAMING!
Gremlins hop onto the seat. One stands on another's
shoulders, so they can see. They fly, some on the rudder
pedals, some on the stick, others on the throttle. They turn,
scream back into the Germans, nearly causing a head-on
collision and scattering them to the winds.
BLOOGY
Hey, fun! Fun fun fun!
BLURG
Fun with the Hun in the Sun!
INT. GERMAN'S COCKPIT
Mercilessly he lines up on Jim's plane...
INT. THE BOMBER
A little Gremlin loses his balance and falls. He grabs the
red button as he falls. Every gun and cannon EXPLODES! His
weight on the stick slams it over, throwing the Bomber into a
spinning dive, throwing Gremlins all about the plane. As it
spins, he is spun around on the stick like a doll on a
merry-go-round. Panicked he holds the button down.
EXT. BOMBER
Spewing the sky full of lead...
EXT. AERIAL - LUTHER'S ME109
is STITCHED HEAD TO TAIL by the bomber's guns. It BLOWS UP,
rocketing the pilot into the air.
THE BOMBER
Catches the GERMAN BLACK FLIGHT as they mill in a circle
chasing Jim's plane. The bomber plunges into the middle of
the dogfight. Gremlins spew fire in all directions.
OTHER GERMAN PLANES -INTERCUT
Gremlins pull canopies, loose bombs, fire guns. They yank
sticks over and bail out. Some step lightly from wing to
wing, Others dive down, grab the BOMBER as it zooms by.
In moments all the Grems are clustered on it, hanging on to
every knob, every control surface. They JEER AND CHATTER as
the Germans swoop by. One gives the Heil Hitler salute.
INT. ME COCKPIT
The Nazi involuntarily responds. His hand shoots up, smashes
through the canopy. It flies off, taking him with it.
PILOT
Heil....Yeeeooow!
The bomber circles, the Gremlins giving various Gremlin
variations of the Bronx raspberry.
INT. GREMLIN BOMBER
They've smashed the gear, painted a moustache on a picture
of Mussolini, a dress on Goering and a happy face on Hitler.
Kilroy was here! One discovers the radio. They JABBER
excitedly, line up in formation, littlest ones in front.
INT. GERMAN COCKPITS - INTERCUT
Pilots go nuts with fury. OVER THE RADIO, A Gremlin chorus.
INT. THE BOMBER
GREMLINS
When der Fuhrer says, "Ve are der
master race!' We Heil, Heil, Heil,
right in der Fuhrer's Face. Not to
love the Fuhrer is a big disgrace!
So we Heil, Heil Heil...right in
der Fuhrer's Face.
They form into a MARCHING BAND PLAYING OOMPAH MUSIC, march
OUT, up the wing, bend over and Moon the Swastika. One pulls
a lever. The bomb bay opens. They all drop out, riding bombs.
They aim them at the Germans. Then they swoop away.
THE GERMANS
Close in for the kill. They zoom at the bomber, FIRING.
INT. COCKPIT - BLACK FLIGHT LEADER
Horrified, he realizes too late...just as the cannons hit
home and the bomber EXPLODES with a mighty roar that rips the
fighters wings off and knocks them down like flies.
EXT. AERIAL - WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER
Jim, Miranda, and the Gremlins try to get the shot-up plane
home. It's barely holding together.
FUSELAGE
One Gremlin holds the aileron to the tail, STRETCHING and
FLUTTERING in the wind.
INT. FUSELAGE
One has his hands on both ends of a cut control line. As Jim
moves the stick, the Gremlin STRETCHES out and SNAPS back.
INT. ENGINE
One Gremlin watches oil spurt from the engine. He sticks his
hand in the hole. The pressure pumps the oil into his hand.
He bulges with oil. He sticks his other hand in another
hole. Now the oil pumps right through.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT
Lucky bounces all over. Albert sits on Jim's shoulder
imperiously, whispering strategy into his ear.
EXT./INT. BRITISH RADAR STATION
They stare at their scope.
OFFICER
What the hell is that?
RADAR TECH
Don't know. It's going too fast.
EXT. AERIAL - SPITFIRE INTERCEPTOR (WHITE) FLIGHT
They bore in for the kill in a diving pass.
WHITE LEADER
Tallyho! A new German plane.
Must be some secret weapon.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT - THE ME 262
The SPITS WHIZ by, Lucky gets on the radio. He pulls out
every allied impersonation he knows, Churchill, Roosevelt,
Charlie Chaplin, Fred Astair. Nothing works.
EXT. WHITE LEADER'S SPITFIRE
He rolls and swoops for another gun pass.
INT. ME 262 - ENGINE
Lucky grabs the oil-filter Gremlin, pulls him out.
EXT. FUSELAGE
Lucky crawls out on the wing with the oil-filled Gremlin. By
pointing and squeezing, he paints out the German Crosses and
paints a big STAR over them.
WHITE LEADER
Hold on, chaps. It's not a Jerry.
WHITE TWO
Well then, what is it?
WHITE LEADER
I'll be...I think it's a Yank.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT
JIM
Guys, I'll handle it from here.
LUCKY
We want to help with the war.
JIM
You can. But not down there. Your
place is up here. If humans
discover you, we'll draw you into
our fight. You saw what happened.
ALBERT
But I want to fight Jerries.
LUCKY
Yeah, I hate those Jerries.
MIRANDA
You can fight them, but without
showing yourselves. Without
letting on you're real. You'll be
safer that way.
ALBERT
But we want to fight with you?
We'll fight in the hills, we'll
fight on the beaches...
MIRANDA
You'll fight in the clouds.
She kisses him, smack on the lips. His head nearly explodes!
He goes bouncing around the cockpit like a superball.
LUCKY
We will never surrender never
surrender never surrender.
JIM
You'll be in the way. You'll get
hurt.
MIRANDA
Isn't there something we can do?
Lucky HICCUPS! It bangs around the cockpit, cracking
instruments. Jim ducks as the glass shatters...then...
JIM
Hey! Wait! Do that again!
LUCKY
What, this? HICCUP!
It shatters the airspeed indicator, cracks the plexiglass.
JIM
Now, point it out there.
Lucky does. HICCUP..BOING! BOING! He boings at Jim, gets an
immediate return BeBoing BeBoing! He looks stunned, then
directs a pulse at Miranda. BeeBoing, BeeBoing! He turns to
the planes, nails them each with a pulse. His head BECOMES A
RADAR UNIT. His ears SWELL to BECOME two DISH ARRAYS.
JIM
That's it! Radar! From now on,
you'll know where the planes are,
when they're coming and you can
get out of the way. Now go, before
they get a good look at you.
LUCKY
First, do some stunts, Jim. Fast
and dangerous!
Jim obliges with a few playful maneuvers. Miranda discovers
that she loves the thrill. Albert and the Gremlin squadrons
hold their arms out and swoop like fighters. Jim flies high
above the majestic clouds and the Gremlin squad soars home.
EXT. AERODROME - DEBDEN
They land and pull up to CHEERING troops. Boffins run up,
throw a tarp over the plane, tow it away. Nigel is glaring at
the Spit intercepter pilots as Jim and Miranda run up.
PILOT
But I saw them!
BRENDAN
Sure you did. Little creatures!
PILOT
Yes, that's right! Flying, diving.
Tearing hell outta the Germans!
NIGEL
Yes, little flying creatures.
Boffins take Nigel aside.
BOFFIN
Yes. Get them talking about that.
No one will remember the plane.
They move back to Jim.
JIM
See! No propeller! We brought back
a Jet!
BOFFIN OFFICER
No you didn't.
JIM
I didn't?
BOFFIN
No. Secret! Couldn't let you up
again. You'd know too much, you
see.
A beat.
JIM
No. I didn't see a thing.
...Just ...Gremlins.
NIGEL
Yes, well, that I can believe.
Jim and Miranda walk off arm in arm. Fiona runs up, hugs
Papa. A pilot grabs Jim as they walk away.
PILOT
Tell them, will you!
JIM
Not me, mate.
PILOT
But I saw them! Why don't any
of you believe me? I saw them!
PAPA
Yah! Little people. Right!
EXT. AIRDROME
Jim and Miranda walk toward the field, arm in arm...lovers.
JIM
Happy?
MIRANDA
Yes.
JIM
Then why do you look so worried?
MIRANDA
I see why you do it. Flying,
zooming about the clouds, you're
so alive. But now I'm even more
scared of losing you.
JIM
Don't worry. Now I have something
to live for. I'll be careful. I'll
survive this war.
MIRANDA
To look life square in the face.
JIM
If I have a reason to.
MIRANDA
You do. It's the only life you've
got.
JIM
It's only worth something if
you'll share it. Will you?
MIRANDA
Will I what?
JIM
(gulp)
Will you marry me?
MIRANDA
At a time like this?
JIM
What better time?
MIRANDA
Yes. Yes, I will.
They kiss.
PAN UP TO:
CLOUDS
In the cloud, Lucky is HICCUPING in his shrill peeping way.
Gremlin SKYWATCHERS are HICCUPING from other strategic
locations within the cloud.
LUCKY
Albert...A plane! A plane!
Prince Albert barks orders. A band of cloud parters begin
ripping a hole through the vapor. Grems move safely aside.
A JET enters. A tunnel forms before them. The Gremlins wave.
Lucky grabs onto the plane as it zooms by, peers inside.
LUCKY
Hey Jim, how ya doing! Do a roll!
Fast and dangerous!"
INT. COCKPIT - JIM AND MIRANDA
Jim glances out, is startled by the Grem face pressed
against the glass. He jerks the stick.
EXT. LUCKY
A fast roll, the clouds spin, Lucky giggles happily until A
HICCUP jolts him off the plane. He glides back to his cloud.
INT. JIM'S COCKPIT
They roll out, level. Jim pretends it was on purpose.
JIM
Ahhh... How was that, kids?
He looks over at Miranda. Something's different...a touch of
grey. Jim glances in the rear mirror.
JIM
Lucky, Albert?
HIS POV
In back, a cute little curly-haired blond girl winks back at
him. A dark-haired boy grins.
LUCKY
Fine, Dad. That was great!
ALBERT
Yeah, Great! Do it again. Only
this time I want to fly.
He climbs up forward. Now we see that Jim and Miranda are in
a SLEEK CORPORATE JET. It's sometime AFTER THE WAR. Lucky,
the little girl, climbs into Miranda's lap and puts her hands
on the controls. As Albert climbs up to Jim, the boy's foot
inadvertantly kicks a lever.
The engines COUGH and DIE. The plane noses over and SCREAMS
down. As Jim frantically checks the gauges...The DIVE SCREAM
BUILDS. Miranda looks over placid and indulgently.
MIRANDA
Jim, I wish you wouldn't do this.
JIM
I didn't do anything. What the
heck happened?
MIRANDA
Rolls, loops you've done it all.
You can't even scare me any more,
so you might just as well not try.
JIM
I'm not trying to scare you.
MIRANDA
Pay no attention, kids. You know
how your Dad loves to fool around.
JIM
I'm not trying to scare anybody.
I'm trying to find out why this
thing won't fly!
FAMILIAR VOICE
Why don't you check lever six?
JIM
What? Who? Hey, who is this?!!
But he checks the fuel switch, finds it off and resets it.
The engines fire. The plane regains speed, levels out.
ALBERT
Hey, Pop! What happened?
JIM
Nothing. Nothing at all. Just a
momentary excitement. Who said
lever six?
He looks at everyone. They all shrug.
EXT. AERIAL -
The plane punches back into a cloud.
JIM'S POV
Lucky, Albert and other Gremlins, are lined up on parade.
They salute him just as he flies by. He snaps a salute back.
INT. CORPORATE JET COCKPIT
LUCKY
Dad, what happened?
JIM
Nothing...Nothing at all.
Just...Gremlins.
He hugs the kids. Miranda leans over, gives him a kiss...as
EXT. AERIAL
They swoop into the cloud-rimmed sunset and fly off happily
ever after.
THE END
C. Proser
Third Draft - April 22, 1994
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